10 reasons why I fail at dieting (or why losing weight is not a piece of cake)
1. I set myself unreasonable goals.
I have a pair of jeans that I adore. I wore them before I had babies and I want to wear them again.
Every time I shed a couple of pounds, I rip them out of my wardrobe and try them on. When I can’t get them over my thighs I am crushed.
Yes, I know my body parts have shifted around and settled in new and interesting places since giving birth.
Yes, I know it’s going to take time to get back to anything near my former glory days.
And yes, I know I am being too hard on myself.
But still, I do it every time and every time I throw them with great force back into the back of the wardrobe muttering ‘what’s the bloody point’ to myself.
2. I lose heart quickly.
This is linked to number 1. If I don’t lose 2lb every week without fail I think there’s something wrong with me. My heart sinks, my will to carry on sinks and I end up thinking I may as well just eat that whole packet of Jammy Dodgers for all the good this dieting lark is doing me.
I get disappointed with myself and give up. I feel like the only way I’m going to ever have significant weight loss is by being involved in some kind of chainsaw accident.
3. Any weight loss I do achieve I feel the need to ‘reward’ myself.
I wrote this down and thought ‘you silly bloody sod’. In work I march on through until the job is done. I am a completer finisher. I am not happy until the end result is achieved.
So why the hell can’t I apply that to me?
4. I don’t love my body. Never have.
This is a big downfall for me. Even in my prime (and I didn’t appreciate that I was in my prime until I passed my prime and started looking back and regretting that I didn’t enjoy my prime!) I didn’t like the way I looked – all big boobed and curvy.
And what worries me the most is, is this also another prime moment and will I be looking back in years to come thinking ‘I wish I looked like that now’. Hells bells, I cannot let that happen.
I know part of the process for change is accepting who you are right now, but what if you’re super critical and can’t find anything you like about yourself?
I know this sounds really really bad, but I’ll bet you there are many many people out there thinking ‘actually, that’s me. I’m the same’. Whether you’re fat, skinny, curvy, athletic or pretty much perfect, I’ll guarantee there are people who absolutely hate something about their look.
5. I’m impatient.
I want weight loss and I want it right now.
6. I bury my head in the sand.
If I have a disasterous day (no exercise, sat on my ass in front of the computer and devoured the contents of the fridge/cupboards/emergency stash in the car) I throw in the towel and say to myself ‘well there’s no point carrying on this week. I’ll start again on Monday/on the 1st of the month/when the sun starts shining.
I have every excuse for why I can’t do it NOW.
Also I know I have to lose weight for health reasons (I have a history of angina in the family) but I’ll almost pretend like it’s not one of the most important things to me and do the equivalent of putting my fingers in my ears and going ‘la la la la la’.
7. I cannot seem to switch off my appetite.
Does that make me greedy?
Sure I love food. I love good food. I’ll also eat crap because it’s there in front of me.
I’ve been to parties where I’ve eaten beforehand and am stuffed, but I’ll still go in picking away at the buffet. Oh, who am I kidding, I stand in line with a plate in my hand and I indulge.
Usually when I’m eating I don’t actually WANT it. Clearly I NEED it. For something other than satisfying my appetite.
I think I am what is known as an emotional eater. You know those people who just can’t eat when they’re upset or stressed or emotional? They just can’t stomach food? I am not one of those people.
8. I make excuses
I haven’t had anything sweet all week/day/hour.
I can’t see good food go to waste.
I hardly ate anything yesterday.
I’m peckish.
I can’t just have a cup of tea.
The packet’s open so we may as well finish them off.
Just the one then . . .
9. I blame everyone but myself
My children are to blame as they made me carry them around inside me for months, increasing my appetite, making me breastfeed, making me crave jam donuts then being so adorable I couldn’t bear to go back to the gym once they were in my life.
My husband is to blame as he is always offering me ice cream, a biscuit or 5 here, a bag of popcorn there.
My job was to blame because I was always so busy I had to eat on the run and then when the hunger pangs kicked in at around 3pm I had to visit the chocolate machine.
My family is to blame because they gave me defective genes.
My tastebuds are to blame because they went down the sweet route and made me desire anything and everything that’s been within breathing distance of sugar. Except Turkish Delight. If you told me I had to live off Turkish Delight, I’d be 10lb lighter in days.
10. I call it dieting.
I have made myself this list because I need to recognise where I am going wrong.
It’s like a food list – once you write if all down it comes as a bit of a shock just how much you are actually eating.
Do any of those ring true with you?
Picture: D Sharon Pruitt
Tara
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31 Responses to “10 reasons why I fail at dieting (or why losing weight is not a piece of cake)”
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So many of them ring true. Fortunately not all them at the same time or I’d be in big trouble. Emotional eating sometimes overrides everything else. I feel I’m learning to change that habit now but it’s a difficult one to deal with. Looking after the kids while trying to build a business has to be very stressful. I’m impressed that you cope as well as you do. I saw a quote recently that I loved – “You can only catch one chicken at a time.” Perhaps this is why we all fail?
I loved this list. I so wanted to stumble it but I don’t feel it would be ethical for me to do so as I’m part of this trio. Sigh.
Dave Fowler’s last blog post..I’ve Emptied My Feedreader Into A Blog Post
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:56 am
I hate that whole emotional eating thing. Why can’t I be the sort of person who has to go walking when I’m stressed, or just wants to drink more tea.
Why does our ‘thing’ have to be food?
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I am totally with you all on all of these excuses and denials. This goes round in my head all day long, it’s ridiculous.
I love food (except turkish delight) and I LOVE WINE! Why do I have to give up what I love???
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:04 am
Hey Suzanne, you see this is why we are good friends, we even make the same excuses and hate the same rubbish confectionary!
Loving the picture that’s been assigned to your name by the way. Is that a drunk or angry look!
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I’m with Dave on the emotional eating. When I’m happy, I eat. When I’m bummed, I eat. Good thing I’m not bipolar, but my daughters are so I might as well be.
turfdad’s last blog post..Share Yourself
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:07 am
I don’t know why, but I always assumed emotional eating was a girl thing?
When someone finds a way to hammer it, let’s share and share alike!
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I think my factors change weekly – depending on my mood (or moodiness) and the stress level. This week while I’m cranky and have the cold my kids so graciously shared with me – I’d probably have to count every single factor you listed and add “I’m too darned tired to care” to the list.
@Dave – One chicken at a time. True true. We (especially me) often try to do so many things at once. It takes will power and alot of effort to limit yourself and keep focused.
Avlor’s last blog post..Tuna thinks he can hide from my camera…
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Oh yes, the ‘I’m too tired to care’ issue!
I think most parents suffer that for about the first 10 years don’t they!
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You have to find one body part you like and focus on it so you don’t stare at the parts you hate. For me, it’s my eyes. If I have a day where I can’t stop staring at my flaws (it’s difficult to choose which one so I like to go into overall body hating mode), I make sure I do my eye makeup extra well that day. Sounds stupid, but it works for me. Keep fighting the good fight!
The Stiletto Mom’s last blog post..This Cannot Be A Good Sign
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Do you know what, my eyes used to be my thing too – now I’ve started to level criticism at them too!
I do like the idea though. How can I maximise the inside of my elbow . . .
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I totally feel you on this list! #11 – for me – would be “addicted to sugar”.
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
It’s so unfair isn’t it. Why can’t we get addicted to mango or fresh carrot sticks or strawberries in the same way?
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Get.Rid.Of.The.Jeans.
NOW.
And when you start feeling better about how your body looks (when you shed a few pounds down the road), go buy yourself a nice, new pair that looks good on you right now.
Pre-pregnancy jeans are like like virginity. There’s no going back.
GreenJello’s last blog post..Lu’s Room
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
I know, I know, you are absolutely right.
“Pre-pregnancy jeans are like like virginity. There’s no going back.” Utterly brilliant mantra, that I am going to steal and use whenever I want to impress friends with my dieting plan!
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I’m with you. “Any weight loss I do achieve I feel the need to ‘reward’ myself.” I think part of the process is learning to find rewards that aren’t food. I’m still working on that.
Dot’s last blog post..Update on Redesign Progress
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
You and me both Dot. When you find the answer can you come back here straight away and let me know!
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I was giggling while I read that list because so many of them are me.
My biggest one is I haven’t really accepted that I am no longer 17 and still growing and don’t really need double servings of everything just to stay alive. I’m giving myself time though, it’s only been 17 years, these things take a while to process.
Tracy’s last blog post..He’s Just Not That Into You Soundtrack Review
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Thinking of you Tracy with your brood of boys, I’ve just thought of another excuse I use: I’m buying it for the children. No I’m not! I’m buying it because it’s something I love and if the children want one or two then we’ll talk about it!
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I hope I don’t get ‘booed’ away for what I’m about to write, however, I hope you can see the parrallels of it.
Weight loss and gain is all about math. How much you take in vs how much you use. As a fitness instructor, my week consists of me teaching cardio classes and strength training classes in total 5.5 times per week. One class in particular burns 750 calories in one hour. Every 3 months, we change the music, which means we need to learn new choreography, and new moves. Since I am a kinetic learner (I learn by doing), I can only learn the new moves/music by essentially doing the class (in my PJ’s at home). We have a big fanfare at the gym and will have multiple instructors teaching these classes for the first time. So, for me, during release week, I’m teaching 5.5 times regular, plus another 3-4 classes with another instructor, plus at least another 1-2 hours of practice. (Yes, I know this is a little crazy and I remind myself it’s only 4 weeks out of 52 weeks.)
My hubby told me again recently – you’ve lost weight again. You’ve got to eat more steak and chicken (in other words, protein) during releases!! He’s right. Because for some reason, I’m too focused on putting on a ‘show’, engaging the class members and showing them a good time while exercising that I forget about me and my needs. I expend more than twice my usual calories during the week, and yet rarely eat twice as much as normal.
So, what’s the point? We have similar, yet different problems.
You already know you’re being too hard on yourself, and it should never be all or nothing. You need to continue to give yourself good rewards for achieving the smaller goals. It’s like a big project at work. Break it down to baby steps, and reward yourself accordingly. If you’ve missed somewhere, don’t beat yourself up. Tell yourself that you can do better today. Right now. Being active can be fun. Find out what can make it fun for you.
For me and my problem? I need to be less harsh on myself and choose to do less of the extra classes, or find a way to eat more steak and chicken so that I maintain my weight. My newest trick is making healthy smoothies with protein that I can drink down quickly (since I can’t use knife and fork while driving).
Daisy
Daisy’s last blog post..Ice Mummy
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Booed away? I need you here in my pocket at all times to motivate me.
I have a really good friend who is exactly the same as you.
She retrained as a fitness instructor and struggles to keep weight on and she has just the same issues as me – only in reverse.
What you say makes a lot of sense – now if you could just come to my house and sit in the corner and keep telling me these things! I clearly neeed the inspiration/motivation.
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Daisy Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Well first off, thanks for not booing me away and inviting me to a corner of your home instead!
Although I can’t stand there physically in the corner and cheerlead you on, I did find this post from my fitness blog that I thought you might find interesting (I hope you don’t mind the link):
http://fitnessstartswithyou.wordpress.com/2008/06/12/setting-up-for-success/
Daisy’s last blog post..You have 2 options
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Love this – because I’ve been “losing” since Nov. and can relate to most all of them. I planned to lose 15 lb. by mid Feb. – well, I’ve got 2 weeks left and have lost 7. It’s hard! And yet, at least I am losing, even though it’s slow. Your post encouraged me – thank you and best wishes!!
Susan’s last blog post..Clutter Here, Clutter There
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 4th, 2009 at 5:22 am
Wow that’s really good going. It is hard, but hearing about other people’s success is so motivating. Thanks for visiting
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#1, 2 & 3 – yes, ring true. #4 no, I love my body. Always have no matter what shape it is in. #5 & 6 – yes. #7 no, when I’m stressed emotional I throw up any food that tries to work it’s way down my throat. That being said, I will eat if I am stunningly bored. #8 yes. #9 no, I accept full responsibility. I don’t DO anything about it, but I at least accept responsibility. #10 – yes, but no longer. See my Weigh In post tomorrow.
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Almost all of these ring so true to me. I look back at older pictures and think I was so skinny, but at the time I thought I had a big stomach, etc. And I am so impatient, I want to lose weight like yesterday, when did this get so hard……….
Jenna @ Newlyweds’s last blog post..Creamy Spinach and Chicken Enchiladas
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 7th, 2009 at 10:33 am
I think it must a girl thing. We’re just never ever satisfied are we?!
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Great list and wonderful to write it down….kind of glares at you…
I am there too and then I get to the point of saying, let’s just do it – lets start liking who you are right now…I would not speak to my best friend this way why do I speak to myself this way?
What are all the excuses? they are masks – silk, feathers or a pigs ear….what is the need that is alive in you? that needs to be met…right now! and not with a cookie, biscuit – just the truth …then you can take action.
You are worth it…
Patricia’s last blog post..Increase Your Emotional IQ
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Ug!! Losing weight is tough… but do-able! You can do it one lifestyle change at I time! I did
Kara-Noel’s last blog post..Valentines has officially begun…
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After my dad died I lost 1/2 stone in 3 weeks, but that was because of all the charging around I had to do organising everything to do with the funeral/taking stuff to the solicitors/visiting my mum and trying to get dad’s paperwork in order aaargh! No wonder I slowed down after that! All that and an autistic teenager to deal with (groan!) Thanks for the laughs, it’s much needed this week. I’ve been told my sons parents/kids group at his school has been cancelled, which means yet another change in routine and even more stress for my son
Good job we’ve got broadband now, that’s what’s keeping us both going at the moment (Yay!)
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Tara Cain Reply:
February 7th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Good for you Barbie Girl. And in the face of all that you still manage to remain positive. It’s no wonder you have been such a success.
So good to have you here.
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