Guest Blog to Fat Post: Danny Pudge
Today’s special guest post is from Life Coach and Un-Fitness Guru Danny Pudge.
Danny, who was a shift manager at a fast food joint before starting a blog and becoming a life coach in 2008, has successfully gained 140 pounds in just six months! Now he wants to help you gain weight too!
Please welcome Danny for his first guest post at Blog to Fat.
How much do you want to change?
Sure, you SAY you want to be fat, but do you really WANT to be fat?
How MUCH do you want it?
Are you doing the things you need to do to get fat or are you simply hoping to someday be fat? Well, I have news for you.
Hope is for the hopeless.
- Are you tired of eating pancakes and pizza all day and not gaining an ounce?
- Do you have friends who seemingly eat nothing and gain tons of weight?
- Can you still see your ribs?
- Are you unable to hear Sir Mix A Lot’s Baby Got Back without wishing you had a bit more of a motor in the back of your Honda?
Don’t worry; I used to be JUST LIKE YOU.
Now look at me!
For the first time since last year, YOU can benefit from MY experience with a LIMITED TIME offer to get my newest program MASS EATING CONTROL 2.0.
Because this program is so super special and successful, I can only accept the first 10,000 people who respond to this!!
The first version of MASS EATING CONTROL sold out in 22.7 seconds. So don’t be left out.
YOU TOO CAN BE A FAT LIFE COACH UN-FITNESS GURU!
What MASS EATING CONTROL 2.0 teaches you:
- The secret food found in everybody’s cupboard which packs 2,500 calories per serving!
- The best methods to walk without burning any calories!
- The SEVEN things you do every day which ACCIDENTALLY BURN CALORIES! Only MASS EATING CONTROL 2.0 will tell you what these SEVEN THINGS are and how to counter them with the right food combinations.
- The SECRETS that the food industry doesn’t want you to know! Did you know that cereal companies have been making their cereals HEALTHIER? I’ll show you the cereals to avoid and RIGHT ONES TO EAT TO GET THE MOST BANG FOR YOUR GUT!
- Access to the MASS EATING CONTROL 2.0 FORUM. Our MEMBERS ONLY forum is full of people just like you – future fat asses and those who have already succeeded and WANT TO HELP YOU MAKE THEM MAKE MONEY!
- How to write motivational web content and WHAT SECRET WORDS you MUST CAPITALIZE, in order to SELL YOUR PRODUCT!
- A really nifty box which DOUBLES AS A COOKIE JAR complete with EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO GET FAT AND SELL STUFF TODAY!
How much would you expect to pay for a program like this?
Would you believe it’s only $2,000?!
You’ll make $2,000 back and gain 20 pounds in the first five minutes alone!
Remember, there will likely be a mad stampede the minute that this program goes live, so you MUST ACT QUICKLY!
Remember this program is NOT FOR EVERYBODY.
This program is NOT FOR:
- People who want to be “in shape”
- People who have an aversion to making $4,000 in the first two weeks of selling their LIFE COACHING AND UN-FITNESS GURU services and programs to others.
- People who don’t have money. Really, just go away already. Why are you even on the internet?
- Losers who like to make money by working for the man and being in shape and stuff.
Still not sure if this is right for you?
Read these testimonials from people who were once JUST LIKE YOU!
Honest John Thomas of www.honestjohnthomas.com - “I used to be in the real estate market, making tons of money in an industry which was rife with dishonesty and scam artists, and that’s just in my office alone. When the industry bottomed out due to other people’s greed, I had to find a new way to make quick and easy money. That’s when I found Danny Pudge’s Mass Eating Control 2.0! Two weeks later, I gained 85 pounds and am rolling in money! Literally, I grease myself up in syrup every night and roll around in hundred dollar bills. Thanks, Danny!”
So if you WANT to be as fat as me, email me with your name, credit card number, social security number and date of birth.
I hope you’re hungry because we’re going to be drinking a lot of milkshakes!
If you have any fitness questions for me, feel free to post them in the comments and I will answer them in a post on Friday.
Follow DannyPudge on Twitter @dannypudge for more the most ROCKIN TWEETS EVER!
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8 Responses to “Guest Blog to Fat Post: Danny Pudge”
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Ye gods, the man’s a genius.
So inspirational, such a stud muffin. Reminds me of the days Dave Fowler used to get his kit off on this site . . . .
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Thanks, it was a blast writing this post for you guys. That Dave Fowler was holding you back! He was way too concerned with being “thing” like a Nancy Boy. Only now that this site is free of his bad influences can you all get to gigantic proportions.
Thanks again, and I will be answering any questions anyone has in this post. Maybe I’ll bless you with another guest post answering fitness questions, if you like.
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I feel small and insignificant now.
I realize I’m a sham of a life coach. I did have 2 beers last night, but then I stopped because I didn’t want to feel crap today. I’m sorry.
I tried dabbling in drugs and loose women but the loose women took the drugs and then stood there laughing at me as I treid to tell them about the evil of drugs.
I even found myself at the gym the other day. I’d intended going for an 18″ pizza with a cheese filled crust , deep fried then dipped in chocolate, wrapped in pastry and sprinkled with sausage, and I have no idea what went wrong.
I often find sweaty socks hidden in my car, empty bottles of mineral water and I can run up several flights of stairs without having to stop and whilst panting like an 80 year old with bronchitis proclaim “F*&k me these stairs are steeper than last time, get me one of them Thora Hird chairlifts and I can eat a packed lunch from Dunkin Donuts on me way up” Shortly before throwing up 17 Big Macs, a party bucket of KFC wings and 164 ounces of Coke.
I feel lost and a failure Danny, is there any hope for me? I love ya man!
Tim Brownson’s last blog post..Life Coaching To Be Banned
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Finally Danny, someone who says it like it is. You spit the future, my man. Thin is yesterday, thick is tomorrow. I live in LA and I’m sick and tired of walking down streets where everyone is sculpted to perfection. It’s like they schedule their days around healthy eating and exercise. When do they ever have time to just TV and do nothing? I used to be part of the rat race, running round the track each and every day. I’d go to the gym, mind what I was eating, and run around with toddlers all day long. I just couldn’t keep the calories from burning.
NO MORE!
Now I sit in a chair all day while eating peanut M&M’s. I haven’t weighed this much since I was nineteen years old. I can only wear pajama bottoms now and when I go outside the house, I have to wear a baggy top that covers my unbuttoned pants. I’m aiming for an even hundred pound gain by Thanksgiving, but I plan to add at LEAST a pound per day between turkey day and present day (I’m asking Santa for a pallet of cheese).
Thank you, Danny Pudge for making me feel like I don’t have to be alone.
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Wow I have lost so much money on scam products and pills and I could have just been using that for M&Ms and pizza and OH OH OH Dooooooo NUTS!
I have just been wasting myself and my energies – I am supposed to be wise…
Oh Danny Boy, Oh Danny Boy…where have you been?
There is hope, there is hope….Praise the Lord! Oh Lordy I do see the light and the error of my ways!
Patricia’s last blog post..Heeheehee!
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@Tim – if it makes you feel any better, I always knew you were a sham *wicked grin*
Urban Panther’s last blog post..Conversations
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Can I use MASS EATING CONTROL 2.0 to fatten up my dogs? They are too skinny, and never gain weight, no matter what I feed them. Think of the money-making possibilities to see 2.0 fatten up all of those dogs!
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