I turned to the dark side
I hold my hands up, I have turned to the dark side.
I have embraced flat shoes and the freedom to lounge around in comfy joggers when no one is looking because, well because I can’t bear the thought of buying clothes that make me feel more overweight than I actually am.
And I don’t like it one bit. I don’t want to be a slummy mummy. I don’t want to be that person who has a two-faced wardrobe – one side containing what I can wear now, the other containing the stuff I dream of being able to fit in one day.
And don’t anybody comment on here telling me it’s madness to have a can’t-quite-fit-into-it section in my wardrobe – I KNOW!
I have tried cutting back in the past. I swear to myself that I will give up goodies for the rest of the week. Just one week, I tell myself. That’s nothing right.
Well just try the rest of the day, a whole day is good.
Ok, ok if I can just make it the to end of the next hour . . .
I sometime rifle through my BB clothes (Before Babies) and moon over that killer dress I used to adore, or the expensive jeans I can barely get over my thights let alone do up.
It just makes me more miserable and I end up comforting myself with a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit. Or two.
I am not going to be that person any more.
I don’t want a wardrobe stuffed with hardly-worn gorgeous clothes that fit me perfectly before I bore two children but now sit there as some grim reminder of what I used to be and what I am most definitely not now.
Shoes as well. I have some shoes in there that Sarah Jessica Parker herself would covet and I can no longer squeeze my chubby little feet into them.
OK, so they’re not chubby but they’re certainly bigger. Putting weight on your feet! No one tells you that when you’re skipping around all delighted that you’re going to have a baby.
How many of you are nodding your heads in recognition?
So I am attempting to change and being a part of this community seems to be making all the difference.
When I’m hovering over the biscuits I actually think of Mom/Mum’s dedication at Thanksgiving.
When I’m thinking to myself I’ll just have one scoop of ice cream I can see Dave Fowler’s near naked form (ye gods!) and I step away from the freezer.
Even those not taking part have joined in, offering their support, and it is very very much appreciated.
I know that there are some people reading this site who do not have a blog, but who come here for the laugh, for a bit of fun and for the sense of community. They are lurkers and they too are very very welcome – I’m looking directly at you here Michelle Sperry!
Just please please don’t be put off by the men talking about underwear and Speedos!
The top and tail of it is, this really seems to be working for me.
Yesterday, despite the freezing cold weather and frost nipping at the air, I walked into town.
I left the car at home and walked the 80 minutes round tip - with pushchair and child in tow.
There are a couple of challenging inclines so I really feel like I’ve worked hard by the time I’m on the home run heading for the front door.
I really enjoyed it.
And if you can find that my friends, that thing that you can do which is fun and gives you a buzz and makes you feel ALIVE, then you will find success.
For these past two weeks I have been concentrating on getting my food intake right.
Next week I will try to increase my activity levels.
I’ll keep you posted.
Oh and by the way, those aren’t THE shoes I own that I can’t get in to. Clearly it would be madness to own a pair of shoes that cost £905, with me being a mother with commitments and all . . .
(ThatGirl, I can hear you from here, stop drooling!)
Dave has posted another update today too. He’s talking about squats and dips (no, not the edible variety) and there is no talk of nudity or pants, although I did see mention of his thighs . . .
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38 Responses to “I turned to the dark side”
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I’m still battling to stay with the eating plan but I’m moving in the right direction.
I don’t think Ive ever suffered from fat feet. Ive been accused ofhaving a fat mouth before but never the feet. You could always put up pictures of your feet and in 8 weeks or so put up a comparision shot? Oh, no, wait. That’s my other website!
Dave Fowler’s last blog post..Naughty Ned
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The eating the right way is hard – but then I think to myself, it’s not as hard as having to give up all carbs forever, or totally denying yourself anything sweet, or eating only juices all day long. Or eating jars of baby food (seriously, some celebs have done that to shed weight. What the?)
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David Fowler Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:58 am
Stick with it TC. That baby mush is yucky.
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Flat shoes are the dark side? I’ve been on the dark side forever then.
Avlor’s last blog post..Organizing Roundup: Laundry Room (and Leapsters don’t belong in the loo)
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:08 am
Flat shoes are the dark side when you have a wardrobe full of heels that never get worn and only one pair of flats that get worn with every single thing.
I daren’t tell husband how many shoes are in there – he’d have mild heart failure.
It’s my ‘thing’. Some girls covet fancy handbags, some cars, some books. Mine is shoes. Mine was shoes, should I say!
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David Fowler Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:00 am
I have two pairs of formal shoes. One pair of casual shoes. One pair of walking boots. One pair of wellies and two pairs of running shoes. How does that stack up against your collection?
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Tsk. Not even a scratch.
One pair of casual shoes? Are you kidding me? You need at least 5 to be sure you have all outfits covered surely?
Linz Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
you have more shoes than me !!!!!
Linz’s last blog post..Mum’s Socks
LisaNewton Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 5:26 pm
You own more shoes than I do:
One pair of casual shoes, one pair of flip-flops, one pair of dress shoes (which I’ve never worn because the heel is really to high for me), and one pair of walking shoes.
See what big feet do for me?? I have NO shoes…………..:(
LisaNewton’s last blog post..What’s the Cost of an Indoor Minimalist Gym?
David Fowler Reply:
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:13 am
Lisa, now it looks like I have a shoe fetish, just like the one Tara has.
Tara Cain Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Oh lordy, everyone thinks I have a shoe fetish now!
Ok ok, my name is Tara Cain and I have a shoe fetish.
Happy now?
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David Fowler Reply:
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:15 am
It reminds me of Sex In/And (?) The City where Charlotte (?) gets free shoes from the pervy shoe shop owner.
Good on you for making the eight minute walk. I walk everywhere I can, and I think it allows me a bit more freedom in my diet choices.
Writer Dad’s last blog post..Writer Dad in Rough Draft
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:09 am
Writer Dad, how could you!
Did you just totally undermine by challenging walk (with pushchair I might add) by saying ‘good on you for making the 8 – EIGHT – minute walk!
(This is me holding my head in my hands)
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David Fowler Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:03 am
In all fairness the original comment had the right figure. I changed it with my admin powerz just to get him into trouble.
Nah! HE BOTCHED IT. Hahaha.
You’re in trouble now WD!!
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I never got past the picture of the shoes….drools.
So that’s not really true. Way to go on the 80 minute walk!! Good for you!
Deconstructing Jen’s last blog post..there goes my hero, he’s ordinary
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I’m glad it’s not just me drooling over shoes Jen!
I’m sure the men here think I’m not quite right
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I can totally relate to the shoes thing. Already with big feet before getting pregnant (size 11.5-12), after my last pregnancy, my feet size increased to a size 12.5 to 13. So, those lovely heels you have pictured will never be on my feet………………:(
Love the 80 minute walk. Walking is my exercise of choice, and my camera is my companion.
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
It’s just not fair is it Lisa? What kind of world do we live in where your feet gain weight but you can still have a slim ankle? Ridiculous.
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Hhhmm.. nice red spangly shoes! If you clicked your heels together in those you’d be back in Kansas before you know it Toto! Good on ya for the walk! Thats a biggy and just the kind of stuff that you can fit into running around in mum mode. I on the other hand have been c**p this week – the only activity I could muster was a whole day pounding the pavements yesterday whilst Christmas shopping and an excessive amount of hair tearing out due to Small Child’s behaviour these past few days! Which in turn led me to post Small Child bedtime wine! Have neglected the poor blog too – am rubbish! Please excuse me whilst I go and flush my head down the toilet!
ThatGirl39’s last blog post..Progress, Endorphins And An Over Inquisitive Dog!
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Don’t worry your pretty little head about it ThatGirl. You clearly just needed a while off to do your thing.
You’ll soon be back on the wagon.
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I must have missed those pictures the first time around. Thanks for redirecting me to them.
….
I have clothes I wish I could wear. Someday soon, I will.
Matthew Dryden’s last blog post..You Hate Me (Because I Failed)
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
You see, that’s my whole problem Matthew. My whole wardrobe seems to consist of clothes I’ll be able to wear ‘someday soon’.
Trouble is i’ve been saying that for the past 5 years!
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My feet were always not going in those shoes…but after breaking my foot last year and tearing the ligaments in 3 places…comfort is the only word on my foot fetish list.
Bravo on the walk to town yesterday. I try not to eat my main meals until I have had a few minutes walk….15 minutes of something is better than 15 minutes of nothing…even if it is going up and down stairs at a good pace. My kids were always game to dance with me in the living room….It is not as fun alone ;(…
I am still hoping my Popeye post spinach arms will get out of the “Queen” size category so I can purchase a nice dress that fits everywhere……
I bought a pair of slacks this week and they came out of the washer with a horizontal run exposing the back of the thigh…not a pretty sight…and now the store wants to hassle me about getting my funds returned….a patch will never do…
Exercise pants are a whole other trouble spot…..I am beginning to think there is not another human being built like me on the planet….maybe I should join the circus?
My T shirt today says “join me on the dark side”….it is an ad for dark chocolate!
Keep up the good work…my trainer is going to check out the blog….and he says he will share his insights about swimming? We will see…
Patricia’s last blog post..Chug, Chug, Toot, Toot
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 2nd, 2008 at 5:38 pm
I love swimming but I get so bored.
Probably because I’m not very good at it!
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You are a rock star Tara.
It is amazing how I felt when I was taking the Metro versus driving to work. Alas driving to work = 15 minutes and the Metro takes 45. Walking does something for the soul. However, now that I drive I can run at the gym when I get to work and shower. Still we try to walk around the city on the weekends.
And on the shoes. My closet – my closet mind you – is filled with my wife’s heels. Her shoe size did not change after the kid. Thank god, it would have broken our bank account.
Keep it up everyone.
DC Urban Dad’s last blog post..I must be nucking futs
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David Fowler Reply:
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:59 am
Yup, walking is geat but I acknowledge it’s nat always convenient. It’s nicer when you’re doing it for a greater cause rather just because you have to. It’s also nicer because you WANT to.
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:52 am
“Walking does something for the soul” – I couldn’t agree with you more Urban Dad.
Not only that, on a 30-minute walk I actually find I can solve all the world’s ills and have the family menu mapped out for the week!
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Hi Tara. Thanks for commenting on my site. I felt really encouraged, and I am just starting out.
I have a goal of learning to love to exercise, which I sometimes find boring but know it is good for me. I would like to lose about 20 pounds, and learn to maintain that weight loss. I also want to live a life that includes regular exercise, which will help me not deny myself food that I enjoy. Food is love to me. I grew up on a farm and lived with a father that believed his children shoulkd clean their plate. We ate mostly meat and potatoes, and I really didn’t start getting heavy or eating refined food until I hit puberty. I was always active though, and even though I was not skinny I was fit. The older I’ve gotten and the more emotional tumult I have experienced, the more my weight has been a problem. I was at my heaviest at 200 lbs, and the lightest at 148. I am at about 169 now and will be happy to be at 150 lbs.
I lived in England for 2 years, and that’s where I first joined Weight Watchers. I stopped going when I came back to the States to get married. I did great at WW, losing about 40 lbs initially. I probably have joined and re-joined about 5 times since then. That’s a lot of yo-yoing and a hell of a lot of money! I keep thinking that there must be a way to do this without spending lots of money, since I know what to do to eat healthily and exercise. I suppose much of it is not eating as an emotional response, but eating for energy.
Thanks for sharing your experience and allowing me to share mine.
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David Fowler Reply:
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:07 am
Hi Sarah, like you I believe there has to be a way to do this without spending loads of money and getting hung up on every aspect of weightloss and fitness.
I’ve never been, but I imagine that WW gives you the support network – and that can be a major factor in success. I think we’re building the same sort of sense of community here.
I love your mindset here. It sounds sensible and realistic. Goog luck with losing the 20 or so.
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:56 am
Sara – look at your avatar! I hope you’re not normally that angry!
It’s great to have you over here.
Dave is absolutely right (DO NOT tell him I said that) but we are trying to build a similar sort of support network where you can come and meet and talk to like-minded people and maybe take away some ideas, or offer your own ideas.
We are all in the same boat here.
And I do believe that talking about it, writing it down and sharing is a really big help.
I too was/am an emotional eater. When I am upset I reach for comfort and that comfort is food. Or the sort of food I shouldn’t be eating in excess.
The only payment we will ask of you here is that you join in the fun!
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There, there Tara. I am sure Writer Dad meant eighty minutes. He was just typing so fast in his enthusiastic support. Right, WriterDad?
comfy joggers …the slippery slope to hell because of the ever expanding waist line. The Urbane Lion loves to come home and immediately get into his pajama bottoms (which are hideous by the way). I was following suit (with pajama top!), but noticed I was eating more than I should. My rule now? Always wear jeans when eating.
Good on you for the EIGHTY minute walk with PUSHCHAIR! (Which I take it is a stroller)
Urban Panther’s last blog post..The day Christmas grossed me out
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David Fowler Reply:
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:14 am
I can’t deal with PJs. They’re the work of Beelzibub!
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Well done Tara – I totally hear you about the wardrobe thing. I actually recently gave far too many cop tops and skinny jeans to my 13 yr old babysitter. Even if i could ever fit in them again i figured they werent really appropriate mum-of-two wear.
But there are the odd items that still lurk in there that i hope to fit inbto agin one day…they are my light at the end of the muffin top tunnel!
Thanks for the mention in your post, but i fell guilty that you say i was dedicated on Thanksgiving. I didnt feel very dedicated after my 3rd G&T!!!
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David Fowler Reply:
December 3rd, 2008 at 10:42 am
M/M muffin top tunnel is a most excellent phrase.
I caught your typo re the tops and it made me laugh.
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Cop tops? That’s it, Dave is having far too much influence over the women here.
“The light at the end of my muffin top tunnel” – am writing that one down too!
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