Nobody changes
Nobody changes.
Sure, a lot of people TALK about change. They talk about winning the battle against alcohol, food, drugs or something else. But how many people do you know that have actually won the battle and changed for the better?
Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Not too many, right?
I lied a bit in the title of this post. It’s not true that nobody changes. There are a few who manage to do so. And maybe you even know quite a few. From my own experience, I can think of only two people I’ve known who have drastically changed for the better. Everyone else I know still struggles against the same issues they’ve always faced.
Why? Because change is HARD.
Fact is that people settle into routines. They find comfort in their habits, small comforts against a sometimes cruel world.
We’ve all noticed the same magazines in the checkout line, month after month promising to help you get rid of those extra ten pounds, make you a better lover, somehow change you. But we all know the truth – those magazines have been featuring the same articles for the same overweight, bad loving, unchanged readers year after year after year.
A whole industry is built on your need to change. Books, magazines, Compact Discs, e-books, Web Sites, programs, and God knows how many other commercially available products are all promising to help you – or at least relieve you of some cash. Many people run like hamsters on a wheel, buying thing after thing in hope for that elusive change, searching for some secret that will make “this time different.”
I say it’s about time we stop lying to ourselves. Some of us will never change.
Because when it comes right down to it, no matter how many books you buy, programs you try, gyms you join, nothing changes until you do. And you’re not going to change until you do things differently than you’ve done them before.
For myself, it’s always been about giving up too soon. I started off with the best of intentions and overwhelmed myself in information overload. I found myself surrounded by “how-to” books, spending more time devising complex plans rather than just doing what I know will work – putting one foot in front of the other, and doing it day after boring day.
It’s not sexy, it’s not Nike commercial inspiring, though it does borrow their catch phrase of just doing it. That, my friends, is the secret of change. And you didn’t even have to buy a book to learn it. If I learn any other “secrets” along the way to changing myself – against the odds – I’ll be sure to pass them on.
What has kept you from changing? How will this time be different?
Later this week:
Tuesday – Tara Cain
Wednesday – the weekly Wednesday Weigh-In
Thursday – David Fowler
Friday – the weekly wrap-up
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Laziness and bad habits have kept me from changing. My Nan used to have an expression – “Too lazy to get out of your own way”. I too have always thought that the next big thing can deliver – if I buy that book/magazine/join that gym then I’ll get it right this time. Pretty ridiculous really as I’m the only one capable of delivering!
Thats why I think the simplistic approach to reaching my goals might work – whilst I can’t say I’ve been an angel every day since Wednesday, I’ve certainly made a lot of improvements and been more active every day and that’s a start!
You can tell I have no work on at the moment – I live here!
ThatGirl39’s last blog post..Send In The Clowns
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 24th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Your nan was a wise wise woman ThatGirl!
Really pleased to hear you’ve been making small changes and making a start – it’s the small changes that will see success I’m convinced of it.
The silly thing is, we ALL know how to lose weight, but as you say laziness and bad habits get in the way.
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:06 am
Keep at it and Wednesdays will be fun days here!
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“…putting one foot in front of the other, and doing it…” Yes. That’s it, exactly. And now, I’m going to start over—again. (enormous sigh)
Julie’s last blog post..The Smile
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:07 am
good luck!
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Thinking and planning for change can substitute for actually making it. Yep. Or how about procrastinating just for the halibut!
I’ve got great progress to report. At my weigh-in on Saturday, I was down 4.8 pounds! That’s right, not 5 where I could’ve received whatever little trinket they present you with like it’s your birthday, but 4.8! I’ll take it.
This week is Thanksgiving, where barrels of food are everywhere. It’s a holiday about eating! What’s not to like? I’m using the ice cream scoop to portion out a taste of everything in my effort to keep things to a sane level. We learned that the traditional Thanksgiving meal approaches double the daily WeightWatcher’s point value. Add wine, as I always do, and well… you get the picture. A 4.8 lead helps in every way.
Betsy’s last blog post..TENACITY
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 24th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Betsy, you go girl! That’s just brilliant.
And I so agree with your ‘thinking and planning for change can substitute for actially making it’, that is so very true for a lot of people.
But not for you it seems!
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:07 am
Awesome! Congrats and best of luck on Thursday.
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“What has kept you from changing? How will this time be different?”
For some reason I’ve had troubles shaking the “lose weight fast/get rich quick” mentality. Every thing I’d lose I’d gain right back. I’m focusing on the tortoise, instead of the hare – on a permanent lifestyle change.
Avlor’s last blog post..Comfort in simple repetition?
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 24th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I think this is what many many people struggle with, the I-must-lose-it-now mentality.
There is a magic formula for weight loss: eat less, move more. It doesn’t have to happen in one month, it doesn’t have to happen in 6. If you make it part of your life then it will come.
We’re right behind you Avlor.
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:08 am
ditto what Tara said.
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You’re right, Dave. Most people I know never change, but everyone can. It’s about finding it inside yourself and not letting it stop breathing. When I fail, which is often, it’s because I’ve moved on to something else before I was finished with what needed to be done. What’s helped me more than anything are my children. They require a kind of follow through that I didn’t know I had. You WILL find it. One of the wonders of this blog is the built in accountability. That alone could lend an impetus toward change.
Writer Dad’s last blog post..Happy Birthday, Pop
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 24th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I too changed when I had my children and it was because they made me accountable.
I want them to grow up with a healthy attitude towards food and to understand why it is important to have a balance.
I want them to understand why they should make exercise an everyday thing.
And i want them to learn all this from looking at me and seeing mummy and daddy live that way – do as I do, so to speak.
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:10 am
I’m right with you on this one, Tara.
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:10 am
Thank you. Of course it’s better to try many things and fail than never try much and succeed at little.
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I am attempting to use change and successful change as my blog niche…
I think over all my years of teaching ethics, how to think and make change, that the word CHANGE is the dirtiest word in the English language…..and it is used more often that the four letter variety.
when I set my mind to make a change or accomplish some task – I always do it..
It is not working for me with my new body? and everyone is telling me I am cheating- but I gained 22 pounds on weight watchers…so I am working on creating my own program and support team…for health – gaining health and not Loosing anything…
Patricia’s last blog post..StumbleUpon Another Great Discovery
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 24th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Patricia, you have not failed and no one should ever tell you that.
Weight Watchers obviously doesn’t suit you and you are right to work on creating your own programme (grrr program!)
We are here behind you 100 per cent and I wish you every success.
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Dave you write so well! and with humor, I forgot to mention this – sorry.
I would offer support too – not so humorous maybe – but have have about 30 posts on change at my blog???? Is this too overt a suggestion?
Patricia’s last blog post..StumbleUpon Another Great Discovery
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:12 am
Thank you. I will check your posts out as soon as my son lets me get back to my regular habits.
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The only thing that has kept me from realizing my goals is me. I have too many things on my plate. (Oh my, that pun works for me.)
LisaNewton’s last blog post..How do you handle Holiday food temptations?
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 24th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
How many times have I said those words Lisa “I’ve got too much on my plate”.
And then I think to myself, how can I be too busy to think about my health? How can I be too busy to stop reaching for the biscuits? . . .
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:13 am
It’s quite often my own reason. When I attempted to lose 100 pounds at the paper, I was so busy working mega hours that I failed to take (or make) time necessary for change.
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It is amazing that although we are all miles a part we suffer from the same stuff. We are all affected by laziness. The distractions get to us. Sometimes we take on too much. We think we go all out and cold turkey. Not this time.
Baby steps it is.
Each week new goals to build on the others.
DC Urban Dad’s last blog post..Please sir, put down the milkduds
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 24th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Baby steps indeed Urban Dad!
I find it amazing how reading through all these comments really helps set me up and makes me really believe I can do it.
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:14 am
well said. Baby steps, a bunch of overweight baby steps!
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Dave, the thing that holds me back is lack of a persisting desire to change. I’ve often allowed my efforts to be derailed when something of significance happens in my life. I then fail to climb back in the saddle quick enough.
It’s tough reading this. Great as it is, it puts the onus entirely on me, you and anyone else who reads.
I admire your honesty in facing up to the difficulties of change.
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:15 am
Thank you. It is amazing how often life throws curveballs at you just when you are sussing things out.
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Wise wise words Dave.
The thing that keeps me from changing (so far…) has been the deprivation. For I always feel that I have to give up a pleasure to be
fitter
healthier
thinner
calmer
toned
etc
etc
etc
And to achieve some of these, which at times, seems impossible to attain, means giving up things I really enjoy.
chocolate
fries
couch potatoing
wine
desserts
caffeine
etc
etc
Sometimes, I get all Little Miss Attitude about having to make lifestyle choices, because i feel i have already given up so much to be where I am today
(unemployed stay-at-home-mum, thousands of miles from ‘home’ etc). Why should I have to give up the simple food pleasures that keep me going.
But that’s the point isn’t it? Those food choices won’t keep me going helathily in the long term. Empty calories and the wrong foods will undoubtedly lead to hideous health issues in the not too distant future.
That thought doesn’t make me any less annoyed that I have to kick the excessive chocolate and caffeine habit though….
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David Wright Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:17 am
Thank you. And I get the feelings you have. I have a similar sense of entitlement (for lack of a better word) I DESERVE to eat some yummy stuff, I’m a good dad, husband, worker, person, etc…
When I was younger, I didn’t have a lot, so the minute I had some of my own money, I started “treating” myself to things I didn’t have before. That was my path to destruction on so many levels.
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