Public Accountability For Weightloss
If you’re anything like me, you won’t be fond of the idea of looking foolish in public under any circumstances, let alone those which could be utterly humiliating.
So why publish cringe worthy pictures of my semi named form in such a public arena, with all the ugly bulgy fat bits hanging off me? It’s crazy, right?
Picture: LadyMetalbeast
The idea of broadcasting your fat bits for all to see is possibly one step too far for most people – and I completely understand why.
I think many of us spend a considerable amount of time going out of our way to present an image we want other people to see, or more accurately, disguising that which we don’t want them to see.
We don’t want people to notice the ugly bits of our personalities or our bodies because it would leave us vulnerable to hurt, anxiety, shame and other negative emotions. So we deny them the opportunity to hurt us by covering up the ugly and we carry on regardless in the safety of our disguises.
I’m not knocking that, because it’s a defence mechanism and it allows us to operate normally on a day to day basis. Without our disguises many of us would probably be gibbering wrecks.
So we don’t show people our fat bits because to do so reveals a harsh truth about ourselves. Perhaps a truth we’re not ready to face?
Unless our excess weight is the result of a medical issue or a deliberate choice, our blubber reveals to others so many of the bad choices we’ve made in our lives. It tells them something of our mindset and our character, and allows them to deduce in just seven seconds that we’re possibly ill educated, ill disciplined, lazy or careless.
Pretending that we don’t care what other people think is probably a self-deceit at some level. If it were true, we’d go out wearing ridiculous combinations of clothes based on their comfort, usability and price not their style or appearance.
We’d turn up for job interviews in torn jeans and with last night’s sleep drool still evident on our faces. We’d have grubby fingernails, unkempt hair and we’d openly scratch at our itchy ‘parts’ while breaking wind.
Rightly or wrongly most of us care what other people think because it’s linked to the way we feel about ourselves.
And that’s why I’m doing this. I want to feel good about myself. I’m doing it for ME..
Yes, I’m uncomfortable having these pictures on the net, but the motivation to want to change those ‘before’ pictures for the ‘after’ pictures is immense exactly because of the ideas I’ve outlined here. And that’s one hell of a driving force.
I concede that this approach is not for everyone – but it works very well for me. It might even work for you too.
When you start to see the improvements with comparison pictures and people start to comment on the improvements you’ll feel tremendously empowered to continue and it’ll help to see you through the tough times.
I urge you to take some before pictures of yourselves. You don’t have to show them to anyone else. You don’t even have to look at them just yet. Just have them somewhere safe for now.
In the coming weeks when my pictures start to show some real improvement I hope that you will notice and remark on what you see, and whether good or bad, your remarks will motivate me more than you can know.
So now to this week’s pictures. There’s not a marked difference as I’ve only lost a pound since the last ones were taken. Although I seem be fatter and I have a lumpier backside this week. Should the socks go in the front? 
Note: Pictures Removed (apologies)
Other than my natty boxers I have no disguises. I’m open to the truth. I do this because I know I can change and I’m betting on myself to do it. If I lose the bet, I’ll be just another fat bloke on the Internet and I’ll carry that stigma with me forever.
Will you take a before picture?
Please Note: This is the second post of the day – the first post was my Daily Update Number 4
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29 Responses to “Public Accountability For Weightloss”
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For you Dave, I will take a before picture and put in on my fridge door.
If it doesn’t help me to think twice about pick pick picking, it will certainly give the children some entertainment!
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David Fowler Reply:
December 4th, 2008 at 8:28 am
It might make your husband hungry for some nibbles though.
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 4th, 2008 at 10:09 am
Or some sauce
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David Fowler Reply:
December 4th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Touche!
Tara Cain Reply:
December 4th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Oh, I know this game . . .
Turtle!
David Fowler Reply:
December 4th, 2008 at 10:21 am
OMG You remember Touche Turtle! You must be at least er… errr…. errrm…. FORTY!
My husband suggested the very same thing, and I admit I cringed but for visual learners this is just the thing to spark action. I just must remember not to accidentally upload the pics to Facebook. That would be awkward…
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David Fowler Reply:
December 4th, 2008 at 8:32 am
It depends what you’re wearing I suppose. If you’re in your underwear, like I am (my own that is), it could be a problem. If your starkers it WILL be a problem
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Why is my avatar so angry? Why?
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David Fowler Reply:
December 4th, 2008 at 8:34 am
Don’t question the machine. Just know that it knows and allocates appropriately.
I wouldn’t even know how to change it even if you wanted to. I guess we could ask Mr Wright the computer genius of our site.
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Tara Cain Reply:
December 4th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Angry on the outside, calm on the inside . . .
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One of the best things we can teach each other, especially our impressionable children, I think, is a healthy dose of nonjudgemental acceptance. When we accept ourselves (by this, I mean knowing what we like or not, what’s important or not, and what we want to change—or not), then it’s SO much easier to avoid judging others.
Julie’s last blog post..The Smile
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David Fowler Reply:
December 5th, 2008 at 7:31 am
Quite right Julie. Being judgemental is so much a part of what most of us are. Not all, but most.
I try to teach my children to accept people for who they are and not what they look like but society presents them with the opposite message every day. And to some extent I believe it hard wired into our brains.
As much as I’d like to believe I’m not judgmental… I can’t deny the fact that I am – but I try to be open minded and see past my own prejudices. All I can do is teach them to do the same.
Being overweight is not bad per se, it’s a very clever feature that ensures our continued existence as a species and every single day so many of us fight against it.
Unfortunately in our society Fat = Lazy, and the kids pick up on this message so quickly… and because they’re young they broadcast it with happy naivety.
I believe it’s okay to be overweight but I don’t want to be overweight myself. It’s tough to teach the little ones with such contradictory messages being thrown at them.
Thanks Julie.
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Hey, Sarah, you needn’t have a frowning avatar anymore!
Just today, I stumbled across a gravatar site (what’s the difference between ‘avatar’ and ‘gravatar’; how come I’m such a technological dunce?). Anyway, just key in “gravatar” on your search engine. Once you open a free account, t’s easy to upload anything you want. What I didn’t realize is that it would add the image retroactively… hm…
Julie’s last blog post..The Smile
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Sarah Reply:
December 4th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Thanks! I think it worked. Let’s see…
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David Fowler Reply:
December 5th, 2008 at 7:31 am
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Well my avatar (and you know I had no idea thats what they were called!) looks like an up-tight geek! (hhmm what does that say about me?!) But anyhoo – back to Dave and his naked pics!
Dave – You Da Man! I totally applaud you for doing this (remember the “We’re Not Worthy” bit from Wayne’s World – well Im doing it!) You’re a braver man than I! Actually I’m a bird but there you go! I might take up Tara’s idea of the picture on the fridge except mine will go on the wine rack!
Do you think the reason I will be squeezing into my Bridget pants under the fru fru christmas dress for tomorrow nights do is because I’m ashamed of The Belly or am I just being considerate to other diners? whatever the reason – I’m not leaving the house without them and perhaps it will mean I can fit in less dinner – yay!
ThatGirl39’s last blog post..I Am 100
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David Fowler Reply:
December 5th, 2008 at 7:40 am
ThatGirl, you are a very funny bird!
‘Bird is a great word, unfortunately so many have taken against it as being threatening and undermining. It’s refreshing to hear its use by… well…. a bird!
Actually, if you read today’s update (being friday) you’ll realise that I am not worthy of your ‘We’re not worthy’.
Don’t worry about your BJ pants, we need our disguises most of the time, but one day soon we won’t need them at all.
And don’t let anyone touch your fru fru, you don’t need any greasy finger marks on it!!
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I won’t be posting any before pictures. I’ll just be happy
ifwhen my “after” image is as fit as your before image.Mike Goad’s last blog post..A Rainy Delivery Day – 25 Days of Christmas: Day 4
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David Fowler Reply:
December 5th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Mike, it’s a funny thing but I’ve alsways felt that men get to a certain point of being overweight where the outline looks so much better than the outlne I present – sort of half fat and half lean. Seriously I do. Because I’m not uniformly overweight it just seems to look worse to me.
Perhaps I’m the only one that feels that way??
And I love the way you struck out ‘if’ replacing it with ‘when’ – That’s the way it’s done!
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People think I am stupid when they first meet me and of course undisciplined and lazy and so this is one reason I prefer blogging or doing phone counseling…most of my clients or students are amazed when they meet me – truly and always someone blurts out, “you don’t look anything like I expected. ”
The folks at the swimming pool are more forgiving and many of the older men and women are heavy too, just not so oddly shaped – I have a great deal of difficulty purchasing clothing…3x upper arms…. size 20 thighs and size 14 waist….42″ diaphragm from so much singing – if I could still sing people would understand
People go for the beauty….I am going for the health…
For my honey’s office party I am going to eat before hand and just nibble – I will enjoy the wine with water…..because I want to look okay – I will wear all black.
To the woman’s fitness group/ book group dinner the next night I will wear my long black jumper and lovely winter shawl….I am pinning a sequined ladybug to my evening bag…they want to get dressed to the “nines”.
The 74 year old and I will leave by 9:30 so that the serious drinking and dancing can go ahead…yes, yes cover up….The surgeon has enough pictures of me before and after and yearly…
I am very beautiful, lovely and kind….but it takes people awhile
maybe if I was fat and funny, but I am rather serious.
In person, and apparently on my blog, I make men uncomfortable.
My honey is an design architect, looks like Abe Lincoln, skinny dude ( the 62 yr old with the 38 year old body/health!) and he thinks I am quite beautiful and 2 of my children do think that also! That is truly enough for me.
As you get older Dr’s treat you differently, but if you are heavy the world treats you differently…Dave your before pictures would not intrigue the world to treat you differently…
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David Fowler Reply:
December 5th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Patricia, people can be insensitive dolts and I’m no exception. I’d like to believe it’s just an innocent error most of the time but even at my stage of being overweight I’ve drawn enough comments, both innocent and malicious to know that I am judged harshly because of my physical appearance.
Indeed because of the job I used to do it would frequently be the first thing that colleagues or ‘clients’ would remark upon to get a rise out of me. What hurt is that as you point out – and Mike above points out – my condition is not really too extreme.
I can’t claim to know what it is to really suffer at the hands of bigots but I do know something of what it’s like to be treated differently and judged because of my appearance… as I’ve worn a uniform for 18 years (And NO Dave Wright – It wasn’t a nurses uniform!) and I’ve been the focus of malice and hate more than I’d care to admit – it kind of came with the territory though so I built up some resistance to it.
I admire what you’re doing here by putting it all on the line. People tell me I’m brave for doing what I’m doing – but it’s YOU who is truly brave.
I wish I could sing. I have a dream that one day I’ll wake up able to sing my heart out. They say everyone can sing if they’re trained – I’m not convinced. And in any case, it doesn’t stop me singing to my children.
Keep at it Patricia. You’re doing very well.
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That’s awesome, Dave. Public accountability is a fantastic idea; bold, brave, and really admirable.
Writer Dad’s last blog post..Writer Dad in Rough Draft
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David Fowler Reply:
December 5th, 2008 at 8:02 am
You too are a man who holds true under the scrutiny of the public gaze. I am only putting myself forward as the material. You put your ideas out there, and I think that is courageous – One thing is for sure… it’s certainly not for the feint of heart.
Thanks WD.
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Brave, brave brave. I salute you. But I’m keeping my kecks on!
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David Fowler Reply:
December 5th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Mad, mad, mad.
I too will be keeping my kecks on.
Thanks M/M
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Dave and all,
Thank you for the kind words of support – that is why I am here mainly…support and no isolation…I need to get everything out on the table….in measured portions – because being stoic and holding it all in is just plain too much work…and feeds the isolation and builds more fat cells…
Using my words is better than eating!
A nurses uniform…now that intrigues me more than a mankini which would leave nothing to the imagination…hmmmm
;0
Patricia’s last blog post..Hey Santa Could You Send a Few Things My Way?
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David Fowler Reply:
December 5th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
An excellent attitude Patricia.
I’ve really enjoyed your whole hearted participation here, you are definitely at the forefront of helping to build our community. Thank you for that.
And who said you weren’t funny? The mankini gag had me chuckling away. Hehehe.
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