So long fatty
Before I had children I was a serious gym bunny.
I owned Lycra. I actually looked kinda good in Lycra. I didn’t need to wear a massively baggy T-shirt over the top of everything to find the courage to work out in the gym among the heavily made up women and the shiny, muscle-bound men.
I thought high energy aerobics classes were sweaty heaven and I would skip into classes with names like Boxercise, Triple Challenge and Super Step.
Yes, I was that hugely annoying girl at the front of the class kicking her legs so high you thought I was deranged or just sad.
That all changed.
Lycra and I fell out big time and I haven’t allowed it anywhere near my house since 2002.
I had my children later in life. I was 34 when I had my first and the second followed 3 years later.
So did the weight gain.
I guess you can add this to my list of excuses for still carrying around my ‘baby weight’.
I have blamed everything from my mum’s defective genes (why couldn’t she give me the genetic code that meant I could snap back into shape?), to my husband killing me with kindness (“go on, have a chocolate HobNob with your cup of tea. Go one, just one. Maybe two . . . “). Even my children have been held responsible for making me love them more than going to the gym.
I mean who wants to go and sweat next to 16 other women when you could be playing tig or making dens on the bed with two munchkins? No contest.
These days it feels like I now have the ability to gain weight by osmosis. I have to run down the cake aisle in the supermarket for fear of having my cells expand just by breathing in too deeply near the chocolate muffins.
Somewhere between the pelvic tilts and the breastfeeding I developed a fatal attraction to sugar.
Of course I ate plenty of sugar before, but I never (whisper it) had my own secret stash around the house.
And let’s face it, when you’ve spent ages slaving over a roast dinner/plate of sandwiches/slice of toast you become some kind of food hoover because you can’t bear to see it go to waste.
Same with treats or biscuits or crisps or puddings or anything sweet for that matter.
I mean it’s rude to hand them out and not have one yourself. One, two, seven who’s counting?
The fabulous cake in the picture was actually baked for me by a very good friend and her two children to mark my 40th birthday this Friday.
It has now become a bit of a symbol for my weight loss.
I don’t want to give up the good stuff and make life dullsville by denying myself (and by default everyone around me). But I don’t want to be strolling out the other side of 40 with a serious hang up about my weight and my health.
So now this has got to stop.
It has got to stop for the sake of my health, my wardrobe and my sanity.
I want to lose 30 lbs as that is what I have gained since having babies.
Ok so it’s not a massive amount, but this is a want echoed among many many mothers out there who found that for every baby they had, 14lbs in weight just magically attached itself to their middle region.
I mean how does that work? I race around this house like a wind-up toy. I’m up and down the stairs at least 25 times in one evening. I should be lithe and athletic looking, not lumpy and wobbly like a comfy old sofa. I’m too darn young for that!
So, the buck stops here as they say.
Like Dave and Dave, I am going to shape up.
Diets are a total no no for me. If you tell me I can’t have chocolate fingers I want 6. Boxes of.
And so – and here is the most important thing for me - my weight loss goals are going to be manageable and not impinge on family life.
I started yesterday. Baby steps. I didn’t tell anyone things were changing. I didn’t make any grand announcements or declare that the fridge was out of bounds. Or make them eat a pound of lettuce and a single raisin.
I just made small changes. And I felt powerful.
I will reveal exactly what changes I am making next time.
And just for the record, yes I did have a slice of the cake and yes it was absolutely delicious and yes I did share it out! I fear it wouldn’t have survived a postal journey, so the two Daves missed out.
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Tara – I am your alter-ego, only older. I had my children at the same age as you, and now they are 18 and 21. Don’t do the math. In 2002, I got down to an ideal weight and size, I mean, baby I was svelte! Then I lapsed and menopause kicked weight gain into overdrive. You are so smart to be doing this now and keeping at it because if not, well, it’s more difficult. I’m determined, though, and so are you. It’s great! Thanks.
Betsy’s last blog post..TRIBES
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Betsy, you give me great hope that it can be done.
I LOVE the word svelte. I dream of being svelte. Every time I hear those chocolate biscuits calling to me, I’m now going to hear your voice over them all saying “you can be svelte again, girl!”
I have a pair of jeans that I am aiming to get into. They aren’t new, just my fav jeans that motherhood has robbed me of!
I don’t need to be svelte to get in them, but at least on the way!
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You will be svelte again. Congratulations on getting started. That is the hardest part. Daisy was the same age, thirty-five, actually when we had Mia. I too killed her with kindness (don’t donuts sound good). She’s down to her pre pregnancy weight, but it certainly didn’t happen overnight. Good luck, Tara!
Writer Dad’s last blog post..Redbook… An Excerpt
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Thanks so much Writer Dad. It’s really heartening to hear that it can be done. I’m fed up with twentysomethings telling me to give it time as I will snap back into shape. My youngest is now 3 – there’s no snapping happening here!
I take great comfort that Daisy was the same age as me and managed it, so I’m damn sure I can too.
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I highly recommend Weight Watchers if it is around you. I have lost all but the last 6 pounds of my baby fat by working the WW program and by being accountable to get on their scale once a week.
Regardless if it’s 6 pounds, 30 pounds, or 100 hundred pounds, we all need to start somewhere and hold ourselves accountable. It seems as if these last 6 pounds are as hard to lose as the first 69 pounds.
Stacey / Create a Balance’s last blog post..Risk Taking Can Set You Free
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Stacey you are so right that being made accountable is the key.
Having to announce to all every Wednesday has terrified me in to totally ignoring the biscuit tin today.
The thought of the two Daves tut tutting me actually made me stop!
The power of a blog eh!
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David Wright Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
The Two Daves couldn’t have said anything because we don’t have an initial weight to base anything on yet. Not like we could say, “oh you gained a pound!” Actually, you SHOULD’VE pigged out this week to set your initial weight higher. Then anything next week would look all the better!
Great debut post, by the way. I’m thrilled to be in this with you and Other Dave!
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Well done you for making a start. That is the hardest part – making the change. But, like you say, ‘baby steps’ that am sure will grow into svelte strides!
I too was the ‘wrong’ side of 30 when I had children and definitely my body hasn’t snapped back. In my 20s if i just ate lettuce for one day I’d have dropped a dress size. Not now – no siree.
The cake looks delicious. Good for you for having a slice. I just don’t see the point of depriving yourself from all the sweet treats. We are built from the same sweet tooth aren’t we Tara?
So, your philosophy and approach to your weight loss goals sound great.
Wishing you lots of luck and I’ll be there right behind you waving the chocolate fingers!
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Hey thanks so much Mom/Mum.
I have made a start but it hasn’t been a ‘STOP THE PRESS. THE DIET STARTS RIGHT NOW. NO MORE JAMMY DODGERS. EVER.’ I’ve made really simple changes that no one has really noticed and so I don’t feel deprived.
It’s great to have you along for the ride – even if you are tempting me with chocolate fingers! (which by the way are my absolute fav).
And by the way, how much did you pay Blogger Dad to get that cool Avatar?
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Tara, I’m with you on this – small steps make a big difference. As long as they’re not backwards. I’m going to be doing my weigh-in tomorrow and will be posting every week too – I’ve already promised to do it on my blog, so no chickening out now! Good luck!
notSupermum’s last blog post..This week I will be….
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
You go girl! I am so with you. That’s just brilliant that you are posting about it every week – it will give you an added incentive knowing we’re going to coming over and checking up on you!
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Tara, you make me laugh! Lycra. Ugh. “One, two, seven…” That’s my biggest hang-up. If you can do then, then, by gum, so can I. I’m rooting for you all the way…but I refuse to get on a scale. I hear them talking to me.
Julie’s last blog post..First Guest Post
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
You don’t need to get on scales to join in Julie.
Just feeling better or feeling your clothes that little bit loose is all the measurement you need!
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Personally, I think you are really brave to do the weight loss thing with two men. Men tend to lose weight twice as fast as us poor women. Jerks.
My hubby says he could be a millionaire if he could take on other people’s extra pounds and burn them off for money. He could easily do it, too, the skinny little jerk.
Hrumph.
GreenJello’s last blog post..Texting Conversation
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Then that makes it more of a challenge for me GreenJello!
I am super competitive at heart, so I’m not going to let them streak ahead without me.
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Dave Fowler Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
GreenJello, I know! They’re jerks aren’t they. Oh wait, I’m one of the jerks. Drat!
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David Wright Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I’d gladly switch places with Tara to be a few pounds overweight rather than more than 100! Of course, I probably wouldn’t look as good in lycra in any event. And yes, your husband does sound like a skinny jerk!
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Tara, I feel you will be an inspiration to mothers (and women generally) everywhere. And I see no reason why you wouldn’t be an inspiration to the guys as well. I think we all face the same challenges resisting chocolate coated biscuits.
I love your attitude in not making a big deal out of it. No one has to suffer especially not the family.
I’ll be cheering you on along with everyone else.
Dave Fowler’s last blog post..Why Cleaning Your Toilet Could Be Bad For Your Children’s Health
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Tara – For the sake of my sanity and wanting to get back into all the more-used-to-be -svelte-ish clothes that mock me when I open the wardrobe(s)! I am loving your baby steps approach – I think it might work for me to do the small changes thing. Every single time I attempt some new fangled BIG thing I seem to set myself up for a failure – it just makes me want to deviate straight away! (moi? being told not do something? stubborn?)hhmmm…
I’m gonna post a wednesday weigh in thingy on my blog to encourage me to keep this up and am really interested to hear your small steps. Knowing that my “blog-twin” is getting healthy and fit too will be a great source of support and encouragement. After all, that dress that set me back an arm and a leg deserves to look slinky without any bingo wings attached! I know two things I have to do… more exercise and a lot less red wine! So… I’m right there with you as of tomorrow for my first WWI!!
ThatGirl39’s last blog post..Late Night Reading….
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Hooray! Really glad you’re going to join in ThatGirl.
I’ve been working on a post about shoes that I know is going to be right up your street.
And that dress? Well it is so beautiful it deserves just a little effort on your part to showcase it in it’s full glory.
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Dave Fowler Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
For a while there I was wondering what World War 1 had to do with anything. Now I get it. The Wednesday Weigh-In.
Duh!
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Another great post! I know what you mean about gaining weight by osmosis. Boy the metabolism slows right down in the forties. Grrrrr … so not fair. You can finally relax, okay I can being a empty nester, and you freakin’ can’t eat anything! I gained 20 lbs between 40 and 44. I lost it all, but that was because of a relationship break up, so I don’t recommend that method. 6 pounds have crept back on, which I am determined to lose again.
Anyway, you go girl!
Urban Panther’s last blog post..Check that phone at the door
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Ah yes the heartbreak diet! One of the staff at my son’s afterschool club looks amazing on that one – but she can’t appreciate it because she is so sad!
Thanks for your words of support, I really do appreciate it.
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Dave Fowler Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Panther, you’ve hit on something there. I’m mega keen to see that I don’t do anything to slow my own metabolism by cutting the calories too drastically or for too long. I’ve got time enough to reach my goals I don’t want to sabotage my own efforts.
The 45 years thing… is that just women, or does it apply to men?
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Women’s metabolism slows down at 40, but their brains speed up. Fact.
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Dave Fowler Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
What? You mean if you break into run? Tee Hee Hee.
I was wondering if the three of you would be interested in tying weight loss with social activism. I was visiting the website for my local food bank and there was information about a man who is trying to lose 230 lbs and will donate a pound of food for each pound he loses. He is also getting people to sponsor him and match his donations. Perhaps the readers could sponsor the three of you. And while encouraging you to lose the weight we could also help feed the hungry. $1 per pound or something. I don’t know … just a thought.
Kim Woodbridge’s last blog post..5 New(ish) WordPress Themes
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
It’s a great idea Kim, just not sure how it would work across continents – plus Blogger Dad would be BROKE as he’s going to be losing so much weight.
I think we can all help by not buying so much and not wasting so much. It breaks my heart to hear about how much perfectly decent food gets thrown away every day.
I have a friend who works at a care home for the elderly and at the end of every day they have a delivery from their local branch of a large, top end food store of food they would ordinarily throw out as the store closes.
Those residents chow down on lobster, dress crab and Belgian chocolate dessert most nights!
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Great Post Tara and gives me a chance to get to know you a bit more. Thank you.
I am not on the Biggest Loser so I am not going to compete with the boys or you for that matter. I am going to loose this 40 pounds because I want my health back and my own body.
I lost all the baby weight in the 80′s, and yes I had my kiddos after 30…but in ’96 had Ovarian Cancer and after the surgery and treatments I gained weight at an amazing rate. In my 11 person support group – I am the only one alive today! I chalk that up to walking and exercise and never giving up..
I gained 22 pounds on my weight watcher venture and they just said I was a cheat…
I am hoping I can just list my weight on Wed. as minus 2 or up 1 instead of putting down the start weight.
My PT is going to measure my thighs, waist, upper arms, etc. – because muscle weights more that fat! and this may be a better indicator…but I want to sign up here because I don’t want to compete – I don’t want to be alone. thank you
Patricia’s last blog post..Book Review: Hats Off to Two Wonderful, World Changing Men and the Books About Them
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Tara Cain Reply:
November 18th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Patricia, you are amazing!
“I chalk that up to walking and exercise and never giving up” what an inspiration to us all.
You can do whatever makes you comfortable for Wednesday’s Weigh In. We are just really glad you are on board and we will do everything we can to support your progress.
I am not such a fan of scales, I think they can be very deceptive. So measuring yourself is a good way to go as feeling better is what it’s all about.
No one is competing here, just supporting.
And good heavens, you are not alone!
Thank you for your comment – really uplifting and inspiring.
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This is what I am trying too. I have a little girl who needs to gain weight. Diet for the family is right out.
I am so there with you. I didn’t just gain 12 lbs/kiddo though. It was 20+.
So you go girl! And I’ll be right here cheering you on doing the same thing.
Avlor’s last blog post..Cream vs. Creamcheese
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Thank you for your support Avlor.
I think one of the Dave’s mentioned it before, but I too am a total hypocrite when it comes to food and my childen. I am SO insistant on them having a healthy diet and eating the right things and yet I don’t do it myself.
I don’t mind my two having treats and ice cream and chocolate – as long as they eat the healthy stuff first. Invariably they are so full up they don’t usually want them!
Now why can’t I learn from that lesson!
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